Everything You Got Wrong About Aviation

Ever wonder why a “black box” isn’t black—or even a box? We start with the truth behind flight recorders: bright orange housings, brutal heat and crush ratings, and the data that helps investigators write safer futures. From there, we zoom out to the systems that find downed aircraft, why those 30-day pings matter, and what could finally close the gap that still makes flights like MH370 feel impossible to lose.

We balance the heavy with the human. Think 90-second hops between Scottish islands versus 18–19 hour treks from New York to Singapore, the real reason crew meals differ up front, and how pressurization and dryness change what food tastes like at altitude. We trade strike stories—how lightning can turn a midnight cabin into daylight—and explain why airframes survive, how maintenance hunts for exit points at the nose or tail, and why ramp closures during storms protect the crews who keep you moving.

Then we get practical. We break down air quality and HEPA filtration, oxygen mask types and timing, and the simplest safety habit you’ll ever need: brace when told. We also tackle modern travel behavior with humor and clarity—no more speakerphone life stories at the gate, please—and take a detour into culture shifts: from cockpit-to-flight-deck language and cleaner workspaces to generational quirks like gym selfies, hoodies, and the mystery of pants that refuse to stay up. Along the way, we dig into money smarts: crypto confidence vs. tax basics, early investing, and why compound interest should be as common as carry-on bags.

We close with small joys that somehow say it all: new socks, double-checking the door lock, and the tactical flashlight that can turn a backyard into a runway. Small steps add up in aviation and life. If you laughed, learned, or nodded along, tap follow, share this with a travel buddy, and leave a quick review—what aviation myth should we unpack next?

Transcript

Not-So-Black “Black Box”

Shawn 0:00

Have you ever heard of the mysterious black box? Did you know it's not black? Did you know it's not even a box? Gee, the box isn't even black. Dude, I can't get past your shirt.

unknown 0:21

What?

G 0:22

I'm seriously, I cannot get past. We're gonna get to the black box in a minute. This is the black. Did you see this damn shirt? Yeah. I mean, he's got it. Yeah.

unknown 0:31

Yeah.

Shawn 0:32

You've got to bring it in airline shirt. I'm bringing it. I mean, the bombers, look at that. Misguided. Yeah. You got bombs away.

G 0:40

You got it.

Shawn 0:41

Look at that.

unknown 0:41

Oh.

Shawn 0:42

I mean, made in America. I love that one. Hello, Sailor.

G 0:46

It's all those uh, it's all those pictures of like, you know, they used to put on the sides of the planes and the the girls on the sides of the planes. This is this is one of my golf shirts.

Shawn 1:00

Isn't this a perfect golf shirt? I can't even get we're gonna get to the black box right now. We're talking about the blue shirt.

G 1:07

That's right. Yeah, I thought uh I thought, you know, it was a good comment. It's like a bullseye in the middle, too.

Shawn 1:14

Right. Look at that damn thing. Look at that man, you're styling. We're officially old when you got them damn shirts. Boobs and bombs, man. You can't go wrong. No, you can't. But you about the black box. You're right. This damn thing is not even, it's not even black.

G 1:33

It's not black, it's not a box, it's like weird shape. It's like this big orange, bright orange, yeah, like thing that they put in the very tail of the aircraft.

Shawn 1:44

Well, the history, but first you gotta go to the history. The reason why they said it was the black box was years ago this all the scientists came up with this shit. You know those guys. Right. They're like talking to us like, what are we gonna call it?

G 1:55

Yeah, right? The mysterious black box.

Shawn 1:59

Let's call it the black box.

G 2:01

You know why? You know why? I think I have a theory on why they called it.

Shawn 2:04

I can't wait for this one. All right, here we go. Guy with the shirt coming at you. Go ahead.

G 2:08

Back in the day, secrets are all held in the little black book.

Shawn 2:12

Oh, there you go.

Cockpit Culture To Flight Deck

G 2:18

So we got the black box for the bigger.

Shawn 2:20

But we got to make it orange so they can find the damn thing.

G 2:23

Oh, yeah, by the way, we gotta paint it orange because they gotta see it.

Shawn 2:27

They gotta find it.

G 2:28

It black doesn't show up good in the sea.

Shawn 2:30

No, it doesn't, especially when it's like six miles down.

G 2:35

Yeah, no, that it's a it's a really cool device that like records everything on the plane. All the electrical, all the voice. Yeah. Voice.

Shawn 2:48

Now back in the day. Back in the day, if if that would have been recording us in the cockpit when we were young.

G 2:55

Yeah, that was that we probably wouldn't have jobs.

Shawn 2:58

No, we'd be in human resources.

G 2:59

Well, they can't they they even had did we have human resources back then? I think it was invented. Was it? I don't know. We're like dinosaurs.

Shawn 3:06

Yeah, I don't remember that. I don't remember you. I don't know, really talking about HR. Because the cockpit, the stuff that was in the cockpit, I mean, you think about this. Your wife has been doing this job for a very long time, right? When she came in, it was tough.

G 3:21

Yeah, I mean, you had to, she had to have some thick skin because I mean the cockpit was whittled. Every flat surface had some type of pornography.

Shawn 3:30

Yeah, you'd open up, you'd flip it up, and there there'd be a like a porn shot on one of the this shirt was mild. Yeah, that's nothing. Right. I mean, you got clothes on. You got close-ups right there.

G 3:41

Pum tang.

Shawn 3:42

Yeah, exactly.

G 3:43

Movies.

Shawn 3:43

Open up, open up, open up one of the compartments, but it falls, it just falls out. All different ages. These poor women, these poor women that were they like like Carol, right, right, they were young pilots. You know, they were like folding that shit back up and sticking it back in the car.

G 3:57

And it was in her workspace. So, like, like everywhere she was, like, she had to check the logbook. She opened a log book and flip it open. There's a whole centerfold. Like, it was like, she's like, you know, come on, guys.

Shawn 4:07

Oh no. And it got to the point where they had when they got more women in the and rightfully so because they had to clean it up. It wasn't it was no longer in the cleaning.

G 4:16

They threw down the gauntlet and they started cleaning it up, and they even changed the name.

Shawn 4:21

All of the game of they did.

G 4:23

It stopped being the cockpit, right?

Shawn 4:25

Yeah.

G 4:26

Now it's the flight deck.

Shawn 4:27

It's the flight deck.

G 4:28

Right. So yeah, they like everything about it, all the male chauvinist crap, and you know, it's gone, it's over.

Shawn 4:37

Yeah. We didn't, we we really didn't, we didn't have that many female pilots back then.

G 4:41

No, there was like female pilots were rare, man. Yeah. You know. I mean, I guess Amelia Earhart was the first female pilot that was like famous and like inspired females to get into the industry. I still get in.

Shawn 4:56

Yeah, I still find it funny though with with her. I you brought her, you brought her up. But luggage.

G 5:02

Luggage?

Shawn 5:03

Yeah, it's named after her.

G 5:04

What are you talking about? Amelia Earhart? Yeah. Luggage? She's been lost. Right? Yeah, and there's Amelia Earhart luggage? Yeah. Why do you want to buy luggage that's going to get lost? That's what I'm saying.

Shawn 5:16

Why would you name why would you name luggage after somebody's? I didn't know there's an Amelia Erhart. Yeah, they used to have it all the time. You didn't see that? Yeah, you didn't know that? Yeah. No.

G 5:27

It was a failure of a company right away.

Shawn 5:29

It wasn't let's go back to the black, orange box that doesn't look like a box.

G 5:35

Yeah, it records everything, everything about the plane. It also is a locator in there. So it has it it pings and all that stuff for up to what 30 days or something like that?

Shawn 5:45

30 days, but it has it can go to a depth of, I think it was like six miles. No, I'm sorry, 3.7 miles. 3.7 miles. Yeah, because it was like so many 6,000 meters, that's what it was. Right. Yeah. 6,000 meters. And the the the degree of temperature it can withstand is 2,012 degrees Fahrenheit.

unknown 6:03

Yeah.

Shawn 6:03

It's hot shit.

Tech, MH370, And Locator Limits

G 6:05

You know what would be really interesting if they upgrade these boxes? Because today's like technology meeting it always puzzled me. Like when we were talking about Malaysia flight, right? Yeah. Like it just blows my mind. We have this technology, and the technology was on that aircraft. Like, how could we have not had a ping? And here's my other thing, too. This is a flight attendant thing. So we know on the aircraft, there's more than just a black box that are locators on planes today. There's many locators. We have locators in our rafts, we have locators that we carry on board in addition to the plane systems, like handheld locators. How could they not find that plane? Like it's a good thing. That's been I mean, we talked about that.

Shawn 6:51

That's one of the biggest mysteries, right? What happened to that aircraft? We talked about that. I mean, that was it was crazy.

G 6:56

I mean, they have devices now where like you can buy them on Amazon and have a locator and you're stuck on the side of a mountain hiking, they can find you.

Shawn 7:04

Well, they'll definitely test the limits. If they find that, if they find that black orange box, yeah, they would definitely test the limits because that thing is where it went down is 3.7 miles deep.

G 7:14

Yeah. So the other thing, too, like I'm thinking about that because you know me, I'm all tech geek and all that stuff. But here's the here's the thing like the recording device, like now they have like SD cards and stuff that are not moving, you don't have to have it, it's all digital. They can encapsulate that into like some type of like you know, like plastic of some sort where it could withstand a crush depth further of that. You know what I mean? So, like, even if the box got crushed, the recording of it is saved. You just need the recording of it saved, not the actual box, whole box, just the device or whatever it's saving on. Yeah, so they can make that much better, you know, in today's world. You there's no there's no way with the technology we have that we should be losing things, especially not a plane.

Shawn 7:59

A plane. I mean that full of people. Yeah, that's definitely crazy, right? All right, hey, we're gonna jump right into some fun facts this week.

G 8:06

Fun facts.

Shawn 8:07

Yeah, shortest flight. What do you think shortest flight? Shortest commercial flight. Shortest commercial flight? Shortest commercial flight. I think I said that, didn't I?

G 8:15

30 minutes? Nope.

Shawn 8:20

Shoot. Did you like that? Is this a you didn't like that?

G 8:23

Am I in in am I in suspense? Yeah.

Shawn 8:26

Go ahead and try another one. Just shoot for another one. Uh five minutes. No, it's not five minutes. It's 90 seconds. A 90 second flight. Don't sit there and say that it's where is it going? It goes from Westray to Papa Westray. Okay. In Scotland. In Scotland. I have no idea. Yeah. I have no freaking idea. He has no idea where he was. It was one of those fun facts that I was like, all of our list all of our listeners in Westray.

G 8:54

I'm I apologize.

Shawn 8:56

But could you imagine? I mean, okay, think of the boarding process. Yeah. Why would you even do that? I don't know, but they still have it.

G 9:04

Right.

Shawn 9:04

But okay, so the boarding process is what?

G 9:08

I don't even know what type of plane they're using. What are they what type of plane are they using?

Shawn 9:13

Um a commercial.

G 9:15

I know, but how there's but commercial planes are still gonna be like 20 minutes. You know, because we got the commuters and all that stuff, that's commercial, right?

Shawn 9:22

Yeah, right. Still 20 minutes. Yeah. I mean, I did a minimum. I mean, I threw a minimum out there.

G 9:26

Yeah.

Shawn 9:26

It's minimum of 20 minutes.

G 9:28

The whole 90 second flight. The whole experience of getting to the airport to get on and all this stuff is longer than the whole flight.

Shawn 9:35

45 bucks.

G 9:36

45 bucks.

Shawn 9:38

To go 90, to go 90 seconds.

G 9:40

Yeah.

Shawn 9:41

Logan like Logan Logan Air? So what's the uh Loga Air?

G 9:46

So what's the longest?

Shawn 9:48

The longest one, distance-wise, it is 18 to 19 hours. Singapore Airlines flies it. Wow. Mm-hmm. Goes from New York to Singapore. Dude.

Fun Facts: Shortest And Longest Flights

G 10:01

I did I mean, I just got off the other day. I got off a 15-hour flight. So that's just like three hours more, right? Yeah. So I could see it.

Shawn 10:09

Your nap time would be longer. Heck yeah. Cost though, think about the cost of that. The Singapore, the Singapore flight, just for um, just for your uh your your normal fare is right around um like five grand.

G 10:24

Five grand per seat for that long ass flight. Yeah. Yeah, that's uh you know what? I mean, all those long flights and stuff, like you're it's uh super convenience to be able to go like from point A to point B, but you know I mean those Singapore flights, so you pay you pay close to up to 12 grand on some of those. Yeah, but all it's all this is convenience, right? What do we what do we say? Like the uh world, like only like 20% of the world uses aviation.

Shawn 10:54

Yeah, that's crazy. I mean, when you think about the how packed the airports are, right? You you see a packed airport, and you're thinking everybody's lying. Every day.

G 11:03

Right.

Shawn 11:03

Every freaking day. Go to Denver, go to New York, go go anywhere, go to San Francisco, LA, it's packed, right? But when you think about in a small area in New York, there's a million people. Oh yeah. A million. That crazy. I mean, and so in that little bitty neighborhood, how many of them never even been on a plane?

G 11:24

Right. A lot.

Shawn 11:25

They've never been on a plane. Yeah.

G 11:27

And I mean, in our world, which is it's just so common, like we're like, you know, take for granted, hey, isn't everybody flying? But in reality, it's only the world.

Shawn 11:37

Take our world, Cleveland, right? Right. You go, you go to the airport packed, right? Most of the days, right? Yeah. I mean, we we we have our we have our uh uh certain uh banks. We have a morning bank, the afternoon bank, and the evening bank. We used to, but they're packed.

G 11:54

Yeah, we used to have those banks. We don't have the banks anymore. Because we're we shrinking. We got shrinkage going on in Cleveland.

Shawn 12:02

Shrinking is it's not good.

G 12:05

It's not good, it's not good at anything.

Shawn 12:07

Yeah. Do you know what do you know what uh pilots get? The flight attendants don't get everything? A choice. A choice? What? No, you know, a lot of people don't understand that pilots can't eat, they don't get the same meal.

G 12:22

Oh, you're talking about the meal.

Shawn 12:24

Yeah, yeah. Talk about the meal.

G 12:26

Yeah, but uh is that for every airline? I don't know. I know for ours. Yeah, for our airline, but I think that's like all contractual driven for each airline.

Shawn 12:35

Do you think that was from years ago because they like somebody got sick one time? Yeah, same thing.

G 12:40

The originally, like when we get when we first got hired, like the pilot meals, like we all got the same meals, and there was no like distinction between whether we were a flight attendant meal or a pilot meal, we got crew meals, right? And then we always were told, okay, but we have the crew meals, but make sure you have to have two choices for the the cockpit, right? Right, because we don't want one to get sick and we don't want both of them to get sick at the same time. Do you remember airplane? Yeah, did you have the fish? Did you add the fish?

Shawn 13:10

I ate the fish. That's the reason why, though. Right. That is I mean, they made they made a funny of it, but I mean it the reason why is because they didn't want if if both of them made the fish, right? You got both got sick.

G 13:23

Yeah. That that would not be good. No. Then we'd have to do the inflatable autopilot.

Shawn 13:30

That was funny. That was a good one. You guys can see that was good. Now food tastes differently, too.

G 13:36

Oh yeah.

Shawn 13:37

You know how in in the in flight.

Who Flies, What It Costs, And Crowded Hubs

G 13:39

Oh yeah. Well, I mean, we're in a different environment. Pressurization.

Shawn 13:44

Yeah.

G 13:44

Right? Altitude.

Shawn 13:45

Yeah.

unknown 13:46

Yeah.

G 13:46

Damn it. What do you know?

Shawn 13:47

What's different about the food though? More salt?

G 13:50

There's more salt. More butter. All everything to preserve. Anything to preserve.

Shawn 13:57

Blow you up like a damn balloon.

G 13:59

Bloat you. Like, that's the number one problem with at our one of our jobs. Not bloat. Gas. Just say whatever.

Shawn 14:06

That's what I said. Yeah, but you bloated up.

G 14:08

Dude, last night. You get all blown up. Last night I was farting my ass off. I just could not like go fast and need to know. 15 hours on a plane. You're gonna fart. That is nasty. You're nasty, man. I'm not nasty. I'm human. That's like a good place for a stick-up.

Shawn 14:27

Dude, 15-hour flight, it gets funky. That's the one thing about those bunks. We talk about that all the time, too, right? That gas.

G 14:36

It can happen.

Shawn 14:38

It did happen. You just said it. You were the nasty ass that was up in there.

G 14:42

It can happen.

Shawn 14:42

I couldn't even imagine that. It's a good thing that though the next one was talking about was lightning strikes. Where there's gas, there can be lightning. No, that's too funny. Yeah. Gas and lightning.

G 14:56

Dude.

Shawn 14:56

So did have you I know.

G 14:58

I've been struck by three times in microair. At nighttime, what happens? I've been struck two times flying and one time at the gate.

Shawn 15:09

Oh, really? I haven't been struck at the gate.

G 15:10

Yeah.

Shawn 15:11

I've been in the flight. A couple times in flight.

G 15:13

I got struck at the gate. We were boarding the plane, and all of a sudden it was like boom. Next thing you know, we're deplaning the aircraft. There's a hole in the plane.

Shawn 15:23

Was it in the nose?

G 15:24

It was in a tail. Oh, really?

Shawn 15:25

Usually, usually they it'll hit the it hits the nose right on the ground.

G 15:28

Yeah, but on the ground, you know, the tail's way higher, you know, so that's where it hit. And uh and that's why they close the ramps nowadays. Because they get hit. Oh, hell yeah. Right?

Shawn 15:39

They get fried.

G 15:40

Right.

Shawn 15:40

But um uh the the lightning in the at nighttime.

G 15:45

Oh yeah.

Shawn 15:45

What's that? Have you been has it happened to you at night?

G 15:49

Yeah.

Shawn 15:49

The whole cabin lights up like a freaking Christmas tree.

G 15:54

Bright as you can like blinding bright, yeah. Sun bright. All of a sudden you're like, whoa. Talking about sunspots.

Shawn 16:02

Yeah, yeah. That is one freaky little thing.

G 16:05

And it's scary as shit.

Shawn 16:07

Especially when you hear that big boom.

G 16:09

Yeah, it will scare you.

Shawn 16:11

Yeah.

G 16:11

Now it may you poo-poo in the pants. For sure. Like, I'm serious.

Shawn 16:17

Poo-poo in your pants.

G 16:18

Gas is not gonna be your worst problem.

Shawn 16:20

No. In your short sack.

unknown 16:23

Right.

Shawn 16:26

That's that's when people are like, what the hell's going on?

G 16:28

Yeah, right.

Shawn 16:28

What happened? What happened?

G 16:30

Right.

Shawn 16:30

So anyway, you know what's not on the airplanes? What's that? Row 13.

G 16:35

No, no, no, no. There are too much superstitious people in the world.

Crew Meals, Taste At Altitude, And Gas

Shawn 16:40

Yeah. Right? Have you ever been playing saying like they skip rows?

G 16:43

Oh, yeah.

Shawn 16:44

Why?

G 16:45

Every company has a different reason. I mean, I know it's a good idea. I know 13. No, no, so I know our reason for our in our company, like, because we want all the exit rows to be the same row. So on all narrow body aircraft, the exit row is always what? 20 and 21.

Shawn 17:07

20 and 21.

G 17:08

Right? Yeah. Doesn't matter what the plane is. It could be an Airbus, it could be a uh Boeing, it could be 2021. Is that not recline and recline? So that's why the numbers jump and everything, because they fit that thing into because they want the X rows to be that same number all the time.

Shawn 17:22

Yeah.

G 17:23

So yeah.

Shawn 17:24

So this information that we're learning today.

G 17:27

No, I'm giving it to you, and you're just asking questions.

Shawn 17:34

It's still a lot of information. That's right.

G 17:37

We all learn something every day. That's one thing at this job we always do, right? Yeah.

Shawn 17:41

Yep.

G 17:41

Doesn't matter what you you think you might know everything until you go to work.

Shawn 17:45

So is the air clean?

G 17:47

No.

Shawn 17:48

So you don't think that our air is clean?

G 17:50

No.

Shawn 17:51

So it goes through, it's refreshed every two to three minutes, and it's it's filtered through a hospital grade HEPA filter.

G 17:58

Yep.

Shawn 17:59

So that's not that's not clean?

G 18:00

It is. It's probably cleaner than the air that you breathe at your house or anywhere. Like it's hospital grade.

Shawn 18:06

Yeah.

G 18:06

People don't realize that. But you said no. I'm just fucking with you. You should have smelt the halitosis I heard last night. You've been like, somebody kick in the help of filter, please. Turn that thing on hot. Please. There's some gas and bringing gingibitis going on.

Shawn 18:27

Okay. Now bring that with your gas brings up the oxygen mass. How long they last?

G 18:32

That varies everywhere. Okay. So it depends. Because uh there's like chemical and then there's ones that they have tanks. So like different types of oxygen and I'd what the average what 10-15 minutes?

Shawn 18:44

Yeah, well 12 to 20, depending, right? Exactly what you were talking about. Just a lot of a lot of people don't understand is that um different aircraft types, just like you said, have different oxygen systems, they last different times.

G 18:56

Yeah, people don't realize that like we get we actually have chemical generator oxygen systems, and once we activate them, they start producing oxygen. Yeah, you know, people don't realize, and that's only as long as it the chemicals until they wear out, right? Right.

Shawn 19:14

So brace position.

G 19:17

Which one?

Shawn 19:19

The one that you go, oh shit, something's happening. Exactly. That's the reason why. Is the reason why brace position is so your shit's not flying all over the place, right? Right. Hands not flying, you're not breaking something. We tell you get in that brace position, man. Just get in the brace position. That's just so your legs, arms, feet, nothing's flying.

G 19:40

Whatever you think your brace position is, get there.

Shawn 19:42

Get there fast, right?

G 19:44

Right quick. If you hear somebody say brace, brace, brake, get brace, you better brace. Because shit's getting ready to get real.

Shawn 19:53

It's gonna get really nasty. Okay, this is this is one uh that talk about loud people in airports. Oh my god. Today. Loud dude sitting in the gate area just the other day.

G 20:05

Talking on the FaceTime bullshit, dude. All that stuff, like loud conversations on a plane.

Lightning Strikes And Nighttime Flashes

Shawn 20:12

I hate it. So this girl was sitting next to one of the crew members, and uh, she was in the in the boarding area. She has her bag set up, has the FaceTime set up, eating, shoveling, shoveling it in, talking, food's flying everywhere. Now everybody and their brother can hear the conversation. Right. Nobody wants, nobody wants to be a part of that. Nobody. And it happens all the time. I've went over on the plane, happens off the plane, in the gate area, everywhere. It is and sometimes it's inappropriate.

G 20:43

Yeah.

Shawn 20:44

I mean, there's kids around.

G 20:45

Dude, I've gone over and like joined the conversation before. Do that sometimes.

Shawn 20:51

Oh, you mean with them? Yeah.

G 20:52

Did you like did you like to go to the house? Yeah, like I come in and no, no, no, my mom's like, hey, how's it going today? We just wanted to I she was including us. Exactly. Everybody knows exactly what you two have been doing.

Shawn 21:05

Tommy, stop picking your nose. They got clear complete lack of awareness. They there's kids around here, and you're just you're sitting there and just yelling shit.

G 21:13

I had a there was a the last time I did this, and I kid you not, I do this every now and then when it gets when I get annoyed with it. Like, I'm like, okay, um enough of this. And then I had this lady that she was in the the club at the airport, and so I'm like, she's like talking and talking just loud. Oh, and did you see Marge? Did you see the show that was happening? It's just a wonderful show. Those housewives, oh, they're so funny. Like, and you're like, so I walked over as I'm walking out the you know, leaving the club, and I walked over and I'm like, I thank you very much for including me in your conversation.

Shawn 21:51

And she just was like deer in a headlight, like they they have no idea. What what they have no idea. Yeah, it it's true though. People are in conversations, they're talking on their phone. You can't even fricking focus.

G 22:03

Yeah, it's rude. Rude.

Shawn 22:06

Right there. Right there. Just keyed in on that one. Is that rude, rude, rude, rude, rude. So what what's been going on with you?

G 22:14

Oh, dude. You know, traveling and everything, this international travel, I have good I've experienced something that I didn't realize that one. Pretty cool thing. Bidets.

Shawn 22:28

Bidet.

G 22:29

Bidet. You know what I'm talking about?

Shawn 22:31

Spell it.

G 22:32

Bidet?

Shawn 22:33

Yeah.

G 22:33

B-E-D-D-A-Y.

Shawn 22:39

Betet. Bidet. I don't know how to spell bidet.

G 22:46

Beda bidet.

Shawn 22:46

Bidet.

G 22:47

Bidet. Anyhow.

Shawn 22:48

Yeah.

G 22:49

So here's the thing. Something where you clean up. I flew Yeah. So you know, everybody out there knows what a bidet is for that you wash your ass, right?

Shawn 22:58

Just don't know how to spell it.

G 22:59

Or your cooch or whatever you want to wash.

Shawn 23:01

Okay. Something.

Superstitions And Seat Row Math

G 23:03

Your your balls. Whatever you gotta wash down there, it can wash it. But here's the crazy thing. So I flew to Dubai, right? And Dubai and in Europe that I've experienced as a kid, like all the houses and stuff, they all have bidets. Really? Like it's like just like a normal thing. The hotel rooms have a bidet. My hotel room over in Dubai had a bidet. Did you use it? I did use it. And and what'd you think? It was pretty jankity.

Shawn 23:32

Jankety. It was jankety. Okay. It was janky. You know why? Explain janky.

G 23:36

Because I'm gonna get I'm getting ready to get there. So here's this European one. It just had like a faucet, like your little faucet and you turn on and you have a little teeny, like it's like a smaller toilet, right? Yeah. To sit on to wash up and all that stuff. But then I went to Japan. I had a heated sea. When I came on it, it started spraying mist in me.

Shawn 24:01

Like the head of hand.

G 24:03

It was all I I can like, I can literally I can increase and decrease and set the different temperatures. It had like it was all high-tech, dude. Does it have like a blower? It was like it was the Godzilla machine of the.

Shawn 24:16

Did you have a blower though?

G 24:17

I didn't have a blower.

Shawn 24:18

Because you got like a soaked edge.

G 24:19

Yeah, that if it had a blower, then I, you know.

Shawn 24:23

I don't want to go be like, I'm oh did you get blown today? I've got questions. So so you you're you're sitting there and you finish your business. Yeah. So you turn this on.

G 24:33

Oh, the one in Japan, you literally they like you pushed a button, it was like it's like a car wash for your ass. Oh, that's a little warm and cool. All right, cool, all right, cool. Nice. Did you hit repeat? But you did it again. But here's you hit it twice. But here's the thing. You hit it twice. It wasn't a separate toilet.

Shawn 24:54

But you hit it twice.

G 24:55

No, dude, it didn't matter.

Shawn 24:59

You did.

G 25:00

Yeah.

Shawn 25:01

Okay, so when you get done, do you have to like sit there for a minute and dry off?

G 25:05

You're missing my way. Don't ask you jumping ahead. You're in jumping up.

Shawn 25:09

No, I'm not, I'm asking a question.

Air Quality, Oxygen Masks, And Brace

G 25:10

Let me tell you, the one in Japan was so high tech and everything. It was like there was not a separate unit. It's all you, it's your toilet and it's your bidet. It had it all, everything, it was all in one. One little but it cleaned you. Yeah, everything. Like you had water. I didn't have to unless I unless I pushed all the electronics and all this stuff. But did you push the water?

Shawn 25:33

Of course. Okay. I'm asking you. Of course. But you sit there and have to drip dry. Oh, no, no, no, no. See, you it look how long it took you.

G 25:44

Yeah, you yeah, but you're jumping ahead because I want to get to the tech. You know, I'm a tech guy.

Shawn 25:49

If they go back, you can you can it was one question. When you got done, did you drip dry?

G 25:55

Yeah. Yeah, we always drive.

Shawn 25:58

Oh, see, it took you that damn long. That damn long.

G 26:01

I didn't know driving. So the other one is like a flushing thing. It was like uh over in Europe, you got a separate bidet, like you get, and it's just like a faucet, right? Whereas you go over to Japan and you know it's like high tech and everything, and is not a separate, it's all in one. So this is your toilet, it's everything.

Shawn 26:19

So we've had this big conversation about how you cleaned your ass. Yeah.

G 26:24

Wasn't that interesting?

Shawn 26:26

It took you so long just to get a point to how your ass dried. No, you were one. No, it did because you didn't answer it.

G 26:33

Okay, let's move on. This shit has gone on too long.

Shawn 26:37

No, you should have just answered it.

G 26:40

Let's clean it up.

Shawn 26:42

You already did. So now that we're done talking about your your ass, basically.

G 26:50

I'm clean.

Shawn 26:52

It's so wrong. I was I was thinking young guys, old guys, how we were.

G 27:01

Yeah.

Shawn 27:02

Young guy, young guy. How we were as young guys and who has young guy habits, old guy habits. Because you you see him, you see him now.

G 27:09

Now we're we have we always gotta get G to like define what he's talking about. He starts very broadly.

Shawn 27:14

Oh, you you who just took 10 minutes talking about did your ass dry in a bidet. No, you you were focused on that one point. It was you. Yeah, it took you 10 minutes.

G 27:24

So don't sit there and say No, I was talking about 10 minutes about the whole experience. You just wanted to know about the drying process.

Shawn 27:31

I didn't want to know about the whole experience. I didn't even want to know about the experience. You were just talking about it.

G 27:38

What shit was happening with you, G?

Gate Loudmouths And Phone Etiquette

Shawn 27:42

I'm going back to keeping your shit. I'm going back, I am going back to the difference between like young guy habits and old guy habits. So, young guy habits, I noticed this uh young guy's today. Yeah. Okay. The most important thing, creatine and protein power.

G 28:01

What are you talking about?

Shawn 28:03

Creatine and protein power before groceries.

G 28:06

Before groceries? Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's what they get. They buy the the the those things before they would buy groceries.

Shawn 28:14

Yeah.

G 28:14

No. Yeah, they do. Really? Yeah. Who tells you this stuff?

Shawn 28:19

No, it's true. It's true. Because they're they're actually into themselves. And you weren't? No, you okay. No, I'm just saying. We weren't? No, I listen. I'm telling you, I understand it. I understand their young mentality. Yeah. Because what's most important to them is the creatine, they need it for the get their bodies bigger. Protein drinks, and they're drinking it. See, I'm just kind of beating you a little bit.

G 28:43

We did the we did the whole same things, but we just called them eggs.

Shawn 28:46

I know. That's true. We didn't have none of that shit. Do you remember the protein powders back then?

G 28:50

We got a yogurt.

Shawn 28:51

Do you remember the protein powders? It was like this clumped up. Did you ever drink that?

G 28:55

Dude, it was they were the nastiest, grittiest.

Shawn 29:00

Big chunks of shit.

G 29:01

It's come a long, it's come a long way, but yeah, when we started first started, all that stuff.

Shawn 29:07

Now these guys, now they got all this this different kinds of um uh what are they, they pre-workout drinks. They got shit that they're all jacked up before they can get into it.

G 29:16

Pre-workout, they got workout drinks, they got after workout drinks.

Shawn 29:19

They got shit that makes your skin tingle.

G 29:22

Yeah.

Shawn 29:22

I had one of those pre-workout, I don't like pre-workouts, but Jackson got me to try one one time. So I I I drank some of it. The skin started tingling.

G 29:33

Yeah.

Shawn 29:34

What the hell is that?

G 29:35

Was it drinking?

Shawn 29:36

I don't know. That's what I'm saying. What is it? I mean, uh it's like your skin starts tingling.

Bidets Abroad: Low-Tech To High-Tech

G 29:41

Yeah. So are you talking about your foreskin or are you just your skin? Skin. Okay, just skin overall, the whole thing. Okay, gotcha. All right. I didn't know. You're horrible. Because, you know, if it was if your foreskin was tingling, then then, you know, probably the whole thing. Yeah, it would probably step up a crushed up Viagra.

Shawn 30:06

I just sent you over again.

G 30:09

No, dude, all that stuff like gets you jacked up. And like, you know, with me and my heart problems and stuff, like, I gotta watch all that stuff. Like, how's that how's it gonna affect me and like all those stuff? Like, all that stuff, you know, it it affects you.

Shawn 30:23

That's why they use between being young guys and old guys. We're gonna get to our part of it, but the young guys is is the creatine with the protein powder, but also when they're in the gym after four reps, selfies.

unknown 30:37

Dude.

G 30:40

This is why I don't go to the gym because I can't deal with all that stupid stuff anymore.

Shawn 30:45

Selfies after four.

G 30:47

Yeah. Oh my gosh, come on.

Shawn 30:49

It's a young I got a little bit of pump.

unknown 30:50

Here you go.

Shawn 30:52

Just just pump it up. Yeah, this is what I'm looking like. Take a picture of that. Yeah. And then how about this one? This one, I did I I brought this one in just for you.

G 31:01

What's that?

Shawn 31:01

12 hoodies the same color.

G 31:04

Uh-uh. I am a hoodie hater.

Shawn 31:08

All these young guys got hoodies.

G 31:10

Hate them. I hate them. It's like it's like the whole, it's like, it's so thug, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like it's like you just just like, why do you have to have a hoodie?

Shawn 31:20

Don't bother me.

G 31:21

Like, right? When we were growing up, you're talking about old and young. Yeah. When we were growing up, why did we wear a hoodie?

Shawn 31:28

Because the shit was cold.

G 31:29

Because we were cold.

Shawn 31:31

Freezing, man. That's what it was used for. We pulled them damn things out. I'm gonna get my ears in my face right there, you know?

G 31:38

Is not that's not the use for it today. Now, now today it's I want to hide from the world. Yeah, exactly. Like that don't bother me. I want to hide from the world.

Shawn 31:48

It's like when they used to wear their pants hanging down.

G 31:51

Dude, I hate those.

Shawn 31:52

Dude, I remember that the one time you hang out, you hung out the window, that dude was wearing his pants. You're like, hey, man, pull your pants up. Do you remember that? We were like, you we left, we you were living on like pull your damn 170.

G 32:05

Yeah, yeah. Pull your damn pants up. Pull your damn pants up. That like I I don't, first of all, I don't know how they do it. First of all, you know, like I guess they pin it somehow or whatever to hold so that the pans are around their the thighs. That prison love look. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, it's so stupid.

Shawn 32:20

Yeah, underwear showing. Yeah. Get your hoodies.

G 32:23

And you know, here's the thing. It was really interesting. Um, Samuel, uh not Samuel Jackson. Um, who's the guy, the voice of God? Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman came in out. He was talking, he he gets irritated with this too. Yeah. And he was like talking about how, you know, why this, you know, it's kind of like an insult. They made it into like this, you know, gangster thug thing and all this stuff. But in the reality, they used to do this back in the day, and the reason why is because they were poor.

Shawn 32:51

Yeah.

G 32:51

Because they'd be growing and they needed to lower, make sure the pants were were low enough so they let them go lower and lower as they were growing because they couldn't afford to buy the pants. Right. You know, but now it's like you wear it like that to just make a fashion statement. Yeah, a statement. So your damn underpants. Statement that, yeah, and then yeah, I got underpants sewn to the stupid.

Shawn 33:13

Good thing they they know about crypto though.

G 33:16

I and it's and it's weird how you walk in them, too.

Shawn 33:19

How can you walk in them?

G 33:20

Like it it's gotta be feel like a like it's gotta be like shuffle. You can't have a deep in, like it's gotta be like a penguin's.

Shawn 33:26

And then they grab a hold of that belt and kind of pull it up. Yeah, yeah. Right? And so their ass is still hanging out.

G 33:31

Yeah.

Shawn 33:32

Makes no sense.

G 33:32

It's all stupid.

Shawn 33:34

Young. We did some young, stupid things, but that wasn't one of them.

G 33:38

Yeah, but again, no, we had we had parachute pants. Those were ugly.

Shawn 33:42

We had them. I know. We had them. Remember MC Hammer pants?

G 33:46

Yeah. Remember that's those are some of those. We had those. Then we had the uh they had the elephant bells.

Shawn 33:53

Elephant bells.

G 33:54

You know you had bell bottom pants.

Shawn 33:56

Bell bottoms.

G 33:57

But we had the elephant ones. Were they like these big, huge, like extra, like come on.

Shawn 34:02

They would have those today. I mean, they'd be wearing them today. That'd be a fashion set.

G 34:06

Yeah, we we had all kinds of crazy, stupid stuff, too. Just, you know, it all comes around, goes around.

Shawn 34:12

Now, going back to what I was saying, they they know crypto.

G 34:16

They know crypto.

Shawn 34:17

They probably know about more about crypto than than me and you.

G 34:21

Yeah, but the the bad thing about crypto, if you know anything about crypto, yeah, is that the majority majority of crypto is worthless. They know like I've I've I've played, I've played with it and other stuff, but it it's kind of like a uh young person's gambling game, you know.

Young vs Old: Gyms, Hoodies, And Pants

Shawn 34:39

But ask them about their taxes.

G 34:41

Yeah, they don't know shit. I don't know. I'll sign you up for that one. Do I know?

Shawn 34:46

No, they don't, they do. Do I not pay it? A young person, they would know about crypto, but when you ask them about their taxes, they don't know shit.

G 34:52

Right.

Shawn 34:52

H and R Block. They'll go to like um TurboTax.

G 34:56

Yeah.

Shawn 34:56

They wouldn't know shit about it.

G 34:57

Yeah, they don't they don't know shit.

Shawn 34:59

No, they don't. And ask them about 401k.

G 35:03

Dude. I'm gonna tell you right now though, that whole thing that they're doing right now with the uh giving to all the like kids and stuff and starting their their uh their investing early and all that stuff, that's fantastic. Yeah, because because the one thing there's we should have the in schools, we should teach our kids about money and how it works.

Shawn 35:25

Isn't it amazing? You'll teach hell home economics, exactly. But they won't teach them about money.

G 35:30

They won't teach them about honey and how how it works. They won't teach how money can make money, they don't teach them about compound interest, they don't teach them about all that different stuff and show them how it works, you know, so that they can actually dab into it. Instead, they barely teach them how to freaking read and write.

Shawn 35:47

Did you ever have you ever read the book uh Rich Dad Poor Dad? Yeah. So Rich Dad Poor Dad is a perfect example of that. I think in our country, we raise kids to be poor.

G 35:56

Right.

Shawn 35:56

Because you tell them that you know, get an education, go get a job. They get an education, and the education, they go out there and there's no job for the education.

G 36:05

Right. So that happens.

Shawn 36:07

And we teach them to go work for somebody, not run your own company or or you know, gain wealth yourself.

G 36:13

Right.

Shawn 36:13

Just go go work for somebody else. Go depend on this, go depend on that. That's what we teach these kids. This is a younger generation. Now go back to the old gen. I love this because now we're this is me and you, right? You can't leave the house without checking the that you lock the door twice.

G 36:32

Oh, for sure.

Shawn 36:34

This old guy, I think. Why why not? Doesn't everybody do that? Did you check? Wait a minute. Did you have you got down a street and had to pull back?

G 36:41

Uh yeah. Especially when my freaking security system tells me that it's not locked. And I can't lock it remote.

Shawn 36:49

My security system would be like this. Wonder if I locked that. I wonder if that's my security. I don't have that security. I wonder if I locked it. I gotta go back and check that shit.

G 36:59

Dude, we have had so many times where we're like down the road and my wife's like, Are you arming the house? I'm trying. I'm trying. Oh, it says the front door is open.

Shawn 37:10

Are you are you arming for everybody else? It's like this. Are you arming the yep, I am? I heard that I heard the lock go. Yeah. I I I I was checking that. That's an old guy's thing. All right. Other one is um t-shirts and socks.

G 37:26

T-shirts and socks.

Shawn 37:28

At this age, we get excited when we get new ones.

G 37:31

Yeah.

unknown 37:32

Right?

G 37:34

Didn't get so excited. I was like, that was like the worst gift, right? When you were young.

Shawn 37:39

Yeah, it is.

G 37:39

But now I I kind of but you needed them, but you were like, didn't appreciate them.

Shawn 37:44

I do now.

G 37:45

Yeah, now.

Shawn 37:46

I always like new socks.

G 37:47

Yeah.

Shawn 37:48

Old guys.

G 37:49

Heck yeah. I got socks. Like, how many do you have like how many socks do you think you have?

Shawn 37:55

I actually just got new ones.

G 37:56

Yeah. That's why you're so excited.

Shawn 38:00

Hey, listen, I let me tell you something. The the one thing, the one thing that I change at least once a year, I have to do this.

G 38:07

What's that?

Shawn 38:07

I gotta have all new t-shirts, all new socks.

G 38:12

That's good, man. I got so I bet you I got some socks in my drawers. They gotta be 20, 30 years old.

Shawn 38:18

Oh, hell no. No. Easily. No, those would be at the thrift.

G 38:22

No, so here's the thing. I have like, you know, like um socks that are for certain situations.

Shawn 38:29

Like that shirt.

G 38:31

Yeah. On occasion.

Shawn 38:34

You got like situational socks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't even say it. Yeah, you can't. Situational socks. I can't wait to hear this. Go ahead. Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Go ahead. Situational socks. Now edge mecate you. See, this is the part that I said we're old. Here it comes. Because go ahead. I can't wait. A situational sock. I got ski socks. Okay. You don't ski me anymore, do you? No, but then I got I still got the socks that I used to wear.

G 38:59

No, but I still got them there. Your knees. Go ahead. I got I got some snow socks. Winter socks. Well, yeah, and you're gonna be able to do that. I got sport tube socks. Sport tube.

Shawn 39:11

When was the last time you heard about tube socks? I know. And you put sport in front of them. A sport tube sock. You got the little short socks, too.

G 39:20

I got lots of little short socks.

Shawn 39:22

The hidden socks?

G 39:23

Oh, yeah, yeah. I do now. Like that's kind of a recent thing because like I just probably in the last 10 years started to wear like the slip-on, you know, the mystery sock. Oh, like you know, just like down there and like the boat shoes and stuff. You like and to not have a no-show sock that you know it was kind of weird to start wearing it. Have you ever worn?

Shawn 39:44

What the no-shows? The no-shows. Oh, yeah, yeah. I hate those though. They sit down in your day. That's what I'm saying.

G 39:49

They're horrible. Yeah.

Shawn 39:50

Like it's a terrible. They they they get thrown away new. I never worn them, but believe it or not.

G 39:58

There are some that are that are out there that are really good. Yeah.

Shawn 40:00

They stay on. Yeah. Right? The ones that I had didn't.

G 40:03

Yeah.

Shawn 40:04

And they got thrown away. And they get thrown away. New.

G 40:06

Right.

Shawn 40:06

Yeah. So this last one, definitely, this is this is both being new.

G 40:10

What's that?

Money Talk: Crypto, Taxes, And 401(k)s

Shawn 40:11

You have to have a flashlight that illuminates your whole backyard. It looks like you're like you're you're notifying Batman.

G 40:20

I have I have I have one in my car. I have one down in the basement.

Shawn 40:25

I guarantee you, you've got one that if you put it in that back, that whole pond's movement.

G 40:30

For sure. The whole people over on the other side are calling the police because it's too bright.

Shawn 40:34

Dude, I came home one night. This is stupid. I came home one night and I had to work the next day, but it was supposed to rain.

G 40:43

Right.

Shawn 40:43

So I'm like, I gotta mow the yard.

G 40:45

And the sun is just No, you didn't. Used a flashlight and mowed the floor.

Shawn 40:50

Let me tell you something. I not only lose, I had two tacticals that I zip tied them on till Monday. I wish I had video of that. I looked like long, I looked like a um what was a farmer out in the field.

G 41:06

You know what you were? You were one of those You're one of those commercials. Uh that the commercial is like, don't become your dad.

Shawn 41:15

But my whole backyard, man, it was like it was daytime. My neighbors were like, that's fucking crazy.

G 41:21

He's an idiot.

Shawn 41:23

He's an idiot. Well, yeah, he's an idiot out there mowing his damn lawn. I was like crazy, but you went straight to idiot.

G 41:30

Yeah, idiot. Oh, listen, listen, I have do you have this too? Talking about flashlights? Do you have a drawer of flashlights? Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. I have a whole drawer of flashlights.

Shawn 41:41

Exactly.

G 41:42

Just in case the power goes out, you gotta know where the flashlights are.

Shawn 41:45

You got the big, the big flashlight, right?

G 41:48

Well, I got like all these little minis because you know now that you can buy them cheap. Yeah.

Shawn 41:52

You know, you can have you ever had that little flashlight though, that you're sitting there like, well, you're in a store and you're like, Well, how much light can that what the f yeah? It just hits that thing, it illuminates the whole damn place.

G 42:03

Those LEDs. Yeah, I know. Now we're talking about it.

Shawn 42:06

It's like a little bitty, little bitty thing. Well, I just said this little old guy talk. We're old. We are old. We already talked about the young guy. All right, we're done. All right, we're done. This is the this is the episode. We'll get to the end with the old guy conversation. Is all done.

G 42:22

What's the old guy quota of the day?

Shawn 42:27

Small steps every day lead to big results.

G 42:31

Yeah, because old guys take small steps and we finally get to it takes us a little longer to get there, but we get there.

Shawn 42:38

We're gonna be shufflers. I can see me, I can so see me and you. Could you imagine us like I don't know, five years from now with a walk? No. Dude. Little walkers like this?

G 42:48

No, hell no. Um I'll be on the scooter.

Shawn 42:51

I'm gonna get one of them horns.

G 42:52

I'm gonna get a scooter.

Shawn 42:53

No, let's get one of them horns, right? We'll put like a boat horn on that thing. Move it.

G 43:01

With our tactical flashlight on it. Zip tied to it.

Shawn 43:06

Look how far we've come. We're gonna have to show you guys, eventually, show you guys a picture of me and this goofball when we were young.

G 43:15

Yeah.

Shawn 43:16

Because it's been a long time ago.

G 43:18

No, there's one on Facebook. There's one on Facebook. Oh, the two. Oh, there is? Yeah, yeah, it's on there.

Shawn 43:25

Not the black and white one.

G 43:26

Yeah, it's on there.

Shawn 43:26

Really? Well, you have to put it in some.

G 43:28

No, no, no. The muscle one.

Shawn 43:30

No, I'm talking about the black and white one. Oh, the black and one. Oh, you yeah, the muscle one. Yeah, oh yeah. Go look at the muscle one, yeah. You suck.

G 43:40

Hey. Thanks for watching us. No, watch us. Thanks for watching us. And we want to uh we thank you for being on the episode and all the things you do. Whatever. What are you supposed to say here, G?

Shawn 43:54

We're old, Sean. Sometimes we forget what we're supposed to say. No, seriously.

G 53:38

See you next week for another episode where we promise you absolutely nothing except more of whatever this was. Until then, keep your tree tables up, your Tables up, and your YouTube subscription. Subscribe. Subscribe already.