New Flight Attendants React to Reality

A brand-new flight attendant walks into training looking like it’s the first day of school, and we immediately get hit with a flashback to how different the job used to be. We talk about hand-me-down uniforms, paying back allotments, and why the airline industry can feel like two completely different worlds depending on when you got hired. Then we run straight into the real question: how does someone go from excited new hire to “I’m not required to do much” in two weeks?

We unpack crew culture and why cabin crew teamwork is not optional. When you’re dealing with medical situations, passenger vomit, or anything that threatens aviation safety, you don’t get to hide behind a made-up job title. We also get into the stuff flight attendants see that nobody believes: strange passenger behavior, red-eye cabin checks, sleepwalking disasters, and the kind of inflight moments that make you question reality.

And yes, we keep it fun too. We swap stories about passenger gifts (Starbucks cards are great) and the most unexpected “thank you” we’ve ever heard of: tickets to the porn awards. We also break down a serious travel etiquette lesson that too many people learn the hard way: refusing to get off an aircraft can become a federal charge with massive fines and real legal consequences.

If you like honest flight attendant stories, aviation chaos, and a little dark humor with your travel advice, subscribe to Captain Pressure with Shawn and G, share the episode with a frequent flyer friend, and leave a review. What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever seen in an airport or on a plane?

Transcript

New Hire Memories And Uniform Chaos

Shawn 0:00

Very new flight attendants, dropping them off for the fur very first day. They get a white shirt? Yeah, they're like the first day of school. You know what I mean? I I got the kick out of it because it's like the first day of school, right? Right. That kid's like in a white shirt, you know, all collared up, got their backpack on, got their little bitty slurpey cup, and they're walking in. Everybody's giving them high fives. And it's really cool though. I mean, we didn't have that. I mean, getting your damn color in the room, coated shirts and jacket. Get in a room. First get on a scale, then get in the room.

G 0:42

Yeah, yeah. My my ass, like literally, I have no record of my class. You know, you do you have a class picture? We no, we don't have a class picture. I don't have a class picture either.

Shawn 0:52

I was just talking, I was just talking to Chris the other day and and asking her, because she was like the you know, class go figure, class president. Right. Right? You get the last class president. That was her. She knows everybody's at. Oh wow. No, no. She knows who's still here. I have no idea. She's like, she's like, gee, do you remember this? And I'm like, no.

G 1:12

Somewhere in archives, somewhere in this house, I have uh a uh like a list of my class. Yeah, I know, I know I kept that thing, but um, like I have no class picture. We graduated, we didn't even have uniforms, yeah. Like we didn't even have like a uniform to wear to go to work. No, I know. Like, we got our uniforms from the uh uh hand-me-down box when we got to the base. I'm not bullshitting you. They were like, like, you know, I got it. Yeah, you got to the base and they were like, hey, you know, okay, you get everybody's got to go get one piece of uniform, you know, figure out a uniform, and there's a uh all flight attendants have turned in different pieces, find something. Like the reason why I'm laughing, like our size.

Shawn 1:54

Right. Well, I was we were I was a little smaller back then.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Yeah, but still, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Shawn 1:59

We were still bigger than than most men that were doing this job. Yeah, so for us to find that those sizes.

G 2:05

I had one shirt, one pair of pants, and a tie. That was it. Yeah, that's all I got for almost a year.

Shawn 2:14

Well, the cool thing about this video, I I I was having so much fun watching this video because it can't it takes you back, right? You see the excitement in their eyes and stuff. So they walk in, it's like their first day, you know, everybody's slapping hands, and you know, they're going in, and then they do their uniform fittings and all that exciting stuff, and their first little box lunch. We didn't get no box lunch. No, dude. Right? No box lunch at all. No, I don't remember any any lunches whatsoever. Nothing. We had to go back and we had something like a sandwich in our room. Yeah, they like um we got like a hundred and six dollar allotment that we had to pay back. Yeah, yeah.

G 2:48

You had to pay it all back. Yeah, I had to pay it back. We got our uniforms finally when you did get your uniforms, because that's when they had just had to pay back too. I came in, my class was like in a transition of all like new uniforms coming, old uniforms going, so they didn't have anything, you know, for this to like order or whatever. And so, but you had to pay all that back. And then now, today, our new hires don't have to pay any of that back. No, none of it.

Shawn 3:10

No, I'm like, but anyway, I get the kick out of this video. I really did, and it kind of took me back. Yeah, so I I mean, I I do love new hires when they come on because they're all excited, right? You you get these new people great personalities, man. Excited about the job they're coming on there. They want to learn, you know, you got a bunch of them that want to learn. Um, and I I just had somebody the other day. Oh, you did? Yeah, I did.

G 3:34

Yeah.

When Excitement Turns To Entitlement

Shawn 3:34

And it wasn't I'm thinking, how did you go from this exciting, this exciting person, right? You know, excited to be here and all this stuff. Get through training, got through that, got your base, got him out line, come online, right? Two weeks in. Okay. Two weeks in. You're just meeting your crew, you're coming on there, and you don't say anything to the crew members, you walk on board, you sit down in the jump seat, start eating your sandwich, it's better. The other flight attendant goes, excuse me, are are you part of the crew? The response was, yeah, um, but I'm the fifth flight attendant, and uh, I'm not required to do much. No, hell no. Two weeks in. How does that happen? No, how no, how did you go from this exciting person in training? This is a truth. I I I want to, I'm not exaggerating this at all. This is this is the truth. How did you go from that to this person that says, I'm not required to do much? Now, there was the response from the other flight attendant was really, you need to get up off that jump seat and get get out there and start doing something.

G 4:52

That's your ass doing something.

Shawn 4:53

I'm walking out of the galley, I'm laughing because I'm like, man, did you just step into it, right?

SPEAKER_03 4:58

Right.

Shawn 4:59

You stepped into the wrong situation because the we come from old school. Old school, we work together. It's a team. Flight attendants are team.

G 5:06

Well, they're they're taught that too nowadays. It's not I know you don't need to have to be old school to have that. That that's that's what they're being taught. That's this is why we have probation.

Shawn 5:15

Yeah.

G 5:15

Because honestly, I am a total 100% advocate. I'm like, I'm all happy with for new hires that come here. They want to do the job, they want to get, you know, they want to immerse themselves, they they come on looking for more knowledge and all this stuff. But when I get the attitude, like you're you're saying you just got there, like those are the people you need to be like writing them up. Like you need, like, it's not cool to be writing up flight attendants, like flight attendants, flight attendants, any or any work environment. You're not it's not cool to do that. But this is the time right now, what it is. This is the proving ground.

Shawn 5:48

Like you gotta prove that you want to be here. But let's go back on that a little bit when you say, first of all, first of all, we rarely, I mean, you rarely ever write a crew up. No, you take care of it internally. I know, before we go any farther, you don't do that. It it's you take care of the majority parts of it internally. What he's talking about, what he's talking about, because he knows a little bit more to the story, and I'm not gonna get into it because it's irrelevant, but um it there's a lot more to the story that happened during that flight that it continues, the attitude continues. It continues, and and the thing is, is that my point being is is how did you go from this excited person, and I mean, I was looking forward to you actually being on our crew and experiencing that and seeing that excitement to this person that I couldn't wait for you to actually move on into your career, yeah, because I didn't want you on the plane, and that's a sad thing, that's a sad fact because that's why I don't like I don't empathize with these new hires.

G 6:46

Like, you come here, you get the job, you've done all this hard work, you've gone through training, you've made it this far, you actually are on the job, you're doing the job, and if two weeks into it, you give me an attitude of like a three-year flight attendant, I don't got time for that shit. Yeah, like wash your ass, like get this asshole, this girl, what guy, whatever, out of here. Because all that's gonna do is they're like how how good of a flight attendant is that. They're not they're not good.

Shawn 7:13

I mean, no, it's not.

G 7:14

And and like I said, it it's and it's miserable for everybody here that works with them because they don't understand. They're not that they haven't figured out their training, figured out by the time they went through orientation, figured out all these different things that they've had to train them and evaluate them and get them to this point, and they sneak through and they still get through. And then now they show up two weeks later on a plane like this. Dude, I had zero time for that.

Shawn 7:38

And before we go any farther, realize this was just one person, one person. I I run into so many amazing new people, and and and Sean does too. We run into a tremendous amount of amazing new flight attendants and old flight attendants. This was just one individual. And I just thought it was funny because when I seen this video about the training, and I thought, man, this is really cool. And then I thought, well, how in the hell did you get from that point to this point? And and then I didn't understand. But but then I also read I was reading this this uh this social media. I don't like responding to any social media. I love reading some of the things except for ours.

G 8:16

He'll respond to that.

Shawn 8:17

I know, but I don't like uh as far as like some of the these groups of flight attendants I'm part in. I read some of the things, and and you wonder sometimes with the crews, like a person goes, um, what the hell you mean you you don't deal with medicals? Yeah, and then then a flight attendant goes, um, well, I don't deal with vomit. And then another one says, Well, um, I I'm just the communicator. And the other one says, I just do this. I'm like, I don't get I don't get that.

G 8:44

I know.

Shawn 8:44

I don't get that mentality because flight attendants are are they it's it's a crew mentality, right? Well, it takes a village to door job, right?

G 8:51

I know. I mean, like it takes you can't do it by yourself, one, and yeah, and then you need all those different people like to do that, and people are avoiders of freaking vomit, who nobody likes to deal with that shit, but but there's certain parts of our job that in the moment doesn't matter what it is, if there's a medical, somebody drops on the floor and you're the person there, you're dealing with that. Yeah, like you should be doing that. And and if you don't, you're gonna there's like repercussions to that. Yeah, like you like, oh, you didn't respond to this? Like, what why didn't you respond to this person? Like, what you've been trained to do all this stuff. Why aren't you using your training? Right, right. So, yeah, I get that. And you know, in the chat thing, you could say all kinds of bullshit, you know, like I don't want to do this, I don't do this, I don't do that.

Shawn 9:33

But then they put anonymous next to it.

G 9:35

Yeah, on the job, you need to be doing whatever you need to be doing to get to be get the freaking village underground.

Crew Standards And Doing The Work

Passenger Gifts And Unexpected Tickets

Shawn 9:41

Yeah, just wanted to touch on that because didn't understand, didn't understand how you went from this exciting thing to what we got on the plane the other day. But you know, one thing I do love is that you know, we get a lot of passengers that uh they bring little gifts.

SPEAKER_03 9:56

Oh, yeah.

Shawn 9:57

Right? And and gift giving that a lot. Flight attendants love gift giving. Hell yeah. Right? We're some gift accepting individuals. I don't know about gift giving. We get gift getting, yes. Yeah, gift accepting. I said accepting individual. No, it gift giving, but gift accepting individuals. He's not paying. We we like to take, not give. Shut up. So shut up, Sean. Here it goes. We're we're gonna have a shirt. I'm telling you, shirts coming out. Uh so but anyway, we receive the the Starbucks gifts. That's a normal, right? Oh, yeah. We get candy, candy, cookies. Would you eat cookies? Yeah, I mean, like we get cookies. No, but would you but would you eat like like pasture homemade cookies?

G 10:38

Not past your homemade cookies. I'm gonna like pass on that. Yeah. Yeah.

Shawn 10:43

I remember flight attendant, they used to bring muffins, and I I'd have to turn down the muffin. Yeah. Because he had like 13 cats. So you know all the DNA of those cats is in that damn muffin. I need it. Dude, that's nasty. That's nasty. I'm not eating it.

G 10:58

No, not happening. I mean, that goes back to like conversation you were talking about about like, you know, knowing how clean people are. Like you already knew, like, this guy is a big cat person, so there might be some hair in there. Yeah. But uh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Like a stranger, I mean, that's ultra, ultra rare, like a pastor bringing us some personal baked goods. They still do it though. I'm I'm I don't I haven't seen that in a long time. It's always usually, you know, they've bought us a package, box of cookie or box of chocolates. Now the candies are are big.

Shawn 11:32

We're getting a lot of candies.

G 11:33

Yeah, lots of candies.

Shawn 11:34

Now, here's a little different one though. This this crew, you know what they got? What's that? Tickets to uh um it was actually uh the uh porn um uh award convention. No, no, awards. Oh no, porn awards, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Porn. Yeah. Awards. Yeah. Would you go? Yeah. I know I knew he'd go. Hell yeah. So we got into this conversation.

Shawn 11:56

This guy was telling me.

G 11:58

Dude, that's like the ultimate people watching. Like it now, you get to see all these people porn stars there. Like, can you imagine what they're all dressed like? Well, I was talking to him.

SPEAKER_01 12:06

Did you have to convince did you have to convince your crew?

Shawn 12:08

He goes, No, it was the coolest crew.

G 12:10

Oh no.

Shawn 12:11

Is that the best crew that you get these tickets to this this porn awards, and everybody wants to go?

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Yeah.

Shawn 12:18

So they they they go over to this this place, they go in there, and he said the first thing that you see when you walk in is like these toys.

G 12:29

Oh, so they have they had exhibitors to the industry, yeah, is all there. So you got like distributors, yeah, yeah, distributors, vibrator makers, you got uh toys, dolls that you could play with. That's the shit that we go through.

Shawn 12:43

I said, I love this job. This is awesome. So he's walking through there and he goes, he goes, I wish I would have did it. And he goes, I didn't do it, but they had this like full-size dildo standing there, and he goes, I was standing next to it, and he goes, All I can think about is I want to get a picture of it. Why didn't he?

G 12:59

That would that's like he passed that up, man. Right? Yeah, once in a lifetime opportunity, just hanging out with my boy Dick. That's it. Yeah, it was big Dick.

Shawn 13:12

So I'm I I was I was talking to him, and and he goes, Could you believe that happened? I said, Yeah, I was going on a layover one time. No, I was going on a layover, and the hotel that we were staying at, because they had um a lot of cancellations, yeah, it was oversold. So they stuck me over at this other hotel and haven't never laid over there. Sure. So I'm pulling up in the van. I look up at the marquee, you know, you spit.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Do you know what it said? What did it say? It said porn convention. Porn convention. I'm laying over at a hotel. That's a porn convention. Porn convention. Well, you got hey, you got lucky.

G 13:49

My face is like beaming. I'm walking over. Yeah, like like that. That's a good thing. I had the same thing happen. We were laying over, and I want to say it was up in like Spokane, Washington, or some weird, you know, obscure out there place here in the United States. And uh I walk into a hotel, and we have it's a drag queen convention. That's that's what I get. You got porn convention.

Shawn 14:15

Dude, I was in Vegas. I I was going through Vegas. We used to say it that that one hotel. I can't say it. But we used to stay at one of the hotels out there. Right. And and I was walking in with the crew, and this guy, this guy, uh, well, actually, this woman was walking in, and she's like trying to hit on me, and and these girls are like, I can't believe that this that woman's hitting on you. I'm like, this see, that's you guys don't understand. That's that's a guy. Yeah, that's a dude. That's not a that's not a that's not a girl. And she goes, what? And I said, that that's not a girl. See, that's why guys end up tied up to tied up in a room because they were saying that that wasn't a female, that was a male.

G 14:52

That's so crazy. Like that this subject is coming up because um last night I decided to watch this new well, it's not a new show, it's like in its third season called Euphoria. Have you used it? No, I haven't seen it. Like, definitely probably not your type of show, but it's a very popular show, I guess it's out there, and it's got some very popular newer, younger stars in it. Okay, and I couldn't tell you their names whatsoever, so don't don't even try. But anyhow, I'm watching like one of the first episodes of this, and there's a character in there that's a girl, whatever, whatever. And these two girls are laying there, and they're laying in the bed, and they have a like bikinis on, and they kind of like show their whole body laying there, and I'm like, that's a dude. Like, you can see the junk like bulged up in there. I'm like, that's a dude. And the whole thing, this is like in the beginning of the thing, and I'm like, the whole like I'm watching episode after episode, I'm like, kept looking at them, I'm like, kind of looks like a girl, like really tiny, and all this up because they're like high school kids, whatever. But I'm like, that's junk. That is no mistake, and there's junk in there, right? So I'm like, so then later in it wasn't till like sixth, seventh episode, and people that watch this know, because this is like the thing, it's a transvestite that's on the show. Like, and I'm like, oh, oh, oh, okay. Now they go into the whole thing. There is a storyline in the show about this kid being a transvestite in all the whole nine yards. But I was like, Yeah, no mistaking. You like we could call him out like that.

Shawn 16:23

And the funny thing about it too is that it in the job that we do, it doesn't shock us. No, all right. I mean, we've seen it all. It does, it doesn't, it does not shock us at all. And I we don't care. I mean, there's there's there's neither one of us could give a crap.

SPEAKER_03 16:36

I don't care.

Shawn 16:37

I mean, we we we're very secure in who we are. This is what I'm saying, crap.

G 16:41

Do whatever you want with your junk, whatever you want to do. Exactly, exactly. As long as you're happy to do it. I'm gonna do what I want to do with my junk, you do what you want.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

I ain't gonna tell you what I'm doing, but I mean, I don't want to know what you're doing either, right?

G 16:52

Yeah, some of that stuff, and that's where the show kind of goes into this whole crazy, like like back end story to these people's lives and like the crazy shit that's going on in these young teenagers' heads.

Shawn 17:04

In our job, it's a need to know, and there's some of the shit you don't need to know.

G 17:06

Oh, yeah, you just some something you don't want to know.

The Weirdest Things We See

Shawn 17:09

Yeah. So some of the craziest shit happens on airplanes, right? Oh, yeah. One of the craziest things on a red eye one time I was flying. What's well, actually, what's one of the craziest things you've ever seen? Craziest thing I've ever seen.

G 17:22

I mean, there's I've got a laundry list of crazy things, but one of the funniest crazy things is like this dude walks on, he's done in first class, yeah, and he's in that first seat. You know how like we're sitting in the jump seat on our and this one position, you're kind of like sitting right in front of the bastards, and the dude sits down, puts his luggage up, whatever, sits down, he pulls out. I thought he had a pillow with him. He takes the thing and he like flops this thing over his head and he turns into like Marvin Martian. I know I've seen that. There's no idea. It's one of those ostrich pillows, yeah. And I had never seen one. I'm like, in the whole entire flight. You're drawn to it. Literally, I mean, you're drawn to it. He gets on, boom. Yeah, he's got this big bubble head pillow thing on his head. Look it up, people. Oh my gosh. You're drawn to it, right? I mean, as soon as you see something like that, you're just I couldn't stop looking at it because all it they just has a hole of like right here. That's all you can see.

Shawn 18:19

Yeah, you're drawn to it. Yeah, I was walking through on a uh on a red eye. You know how we do our checks?

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Yeah.

Shawn 18:24

So I've got my flashlight, I'm like going back and forth, I'm going back and forth. Right. And and as I'm going back, there's this woman in the aisle seat like this.

G 18:34

Just like mouth open, eyes open. And she's sleeping.

Shawn 18:38

I'm thinking she's dead. I'm like, oh my god, I'm gonna throw after throw this. We're gonna have to do CPR, right? AED, we're getting ready to call it. No, she's asleep.

G 18:47

With her eyes open, eyes open. That's creepy.

Shawn 18:49

Freakiest thing I've ever seen. And all I can think about Okay, your mind goes into overload.

G 18:54

My dad was that person. Really?

Shawn 18:56

Okay, let's do it.

G 18:59

He'd be like, just like this.

Shawn 19:01

How okay, how in the hell do you get it? I need to know if you but how do you get married? How do you get married? Okay, because if you if you're dating her. No, but if you're dating her, and say you you spent the night with her, yeah, and then you rolled over, and and you're like, oh yeah. I don't know how that people do that.

G 19:18

Like, how do you just like turn off your brain? You're seeing this, yeah. It's not smiling at you.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

There's no way you're not staying. No, you're not. They're smiling in their sleep and they're looking in their eyes. No, you're not staying in this.

G 19:32

I'm like, oh hell no.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Eyes wide open.

Shawn 19:35

There ain't no way in hell you're staying.

G 19:36

There's no way, dude.

Shawn 19:37

You're like, that's not my spouse to be. There's no way, because they'd freak you out every time. Are you awake?

G 19:42

There's certain, like, isn't it do you have like body features that like were like just a no-go? Like, I'm not dating anybody, I'm not being connected with anybody that had certain body things. Like, like me, my whole thing is like like that would be one of the things. Like, you sleep with your eyes open. Oh, yeah, it's a game changer. No, yeah, we're done. No, no, we're done.

Shawn 20:04

No, no, no, no. Yeah, I mean, you were nice, but no, that was it.

G 20:07

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like cankles. I'm not doing cankles. No, I'm not doing cankles. No, like like, don't even want to like no. No. Like, all those different types of things, like just like certain body features and stuff, and I'll be like, uh no, I'm just not attracted to that. Yeah. That's like a a good smile. Right. Right? Teeth? Yeah. Oh, teeth, dude. Teeth are you have to have a nice teeth. Yeah, you gotta have nice teeth. I don't understand. Like, I say you look at somebody who got some fangled up teeth. They're smile and they like got a rotten teeth. Yeah, I take care of that, man.

Shawn 20:39

You got dental plan.

G 20:41

Oh, that's nasty. That's that's nasty. Yeah, yeah.

Shawn 20:45

All right.

G 20:46

Anyways, it just we kind of segued there uh for what we were talking about.

Door Seals Noise And Hearing Damage

Shawn 20:49

Yeah, we went up there. Okay, let's so let's go back. And now you get on a plane, you get here rushing air. Have you ever had that? Crazy, crazy time. So rushing air, seal, you you have a you have a messed up seal. Yeah, I don't want that.

G 21:01

A door seal. You don't want nobody wants that to happen.

Shawn 21:03

And you're and you're and and you hear this rushing air going out, and you realize that the plane's not pressurizing. You ain't going up too high. Nope, you're circling back. Yeah, you're just going right back. So we had a crew that actually happened that happened to them. Recently? No, no, no. They it was actually this is a story, and they and uh, and they were they were took off, and they they all of a sudden the air just keeps rushing out, it gets louder and louder. Yeah, they're making phone calls up to the cockpit. Cockpit realize that they're not they're not pressurizing, so they have to go around burnt burn fuel. This is exciting shit that happens to us, and they have to return to the ground, which is probably no big deal, right? I mean, you know, it's it's it's a gap in there, but it seems like it is when you're sitting next to it. Yeah. Because all you're thinking about doing is like is that door coming up?

G 21:50

I haven't heard that. Like you're talking about that. I haven't heard that in recent years, like that happening on a plane. And the older planes, you know, as these planes are like generations getting newer and newer. And stuff, they're getting better and better. Like some of these like little tweak things that they needed to fix. And one of them is like door seals have gotten so much better.

Shawn 22:07

No, I've had I've had bad door seals.

G 22:09

Yeah.

Shawn 22:09

But I mean, recently like whistling. Yeah, yeah. But not to that extreme. No.

G 22:15

And normally, like when they get up to pressure, eventually we'll like they will sell. Yeah. But it's not not like in the old days.

Shawn 22:21

But sometimes, man, those those those high-pitched sounds next to the door are deafening. Oh, they're terrible. I mean, it's horrible. And when they're like that, though, it it's you you gotta say because it's they're deafening.

G 22:32

That's the one thing in our industry, like you people don't realize. Like, we sit by all the doors, yeah, and it's much louder in our areas than it is anywhere in a cabin.

Shawn 22:42

So I about crap myself one time.

G 22:45

Hearing, hearing, like, how many flight attendants have problems with hearing over their careers? What? Like, yeah, exactly.

Shawn 22:51

I do. I mean, I honestly I do. I have I have problems because being pressurized, depressurized so many times.

G 22:57

I mean, if you do it so many times, like over the course of how many years we've been doing it, I mean, you're gonna have hearing problems. My latest thing right now was uh tinnitus. I've been getting tinnitus a little bit here or there. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like like every now and then I'll be sitting at my desk and all of a sudden I'm hearing this and I'm like, what the hell? What's going on here? Shake it off, John.

Shawn 23:25

Get out of there, yeah. But I mean, uh yeah, dude. I was sitting, I was sitting on the plane one time and and um and the door handle, it was like a 7-5. Uh we're freaking 35,000 feet, and all of a sudden it's cruise, and also this is what happened. The handle pop.

G 23:40

Really?

Shawn 23:41

Yeah, it just popped up like that. Oh, it was it was crazy. Scary, yeah, yeah, nothing happened. The door pushes out. The way doors work, I mean, you know, it once a pressure, yeah, yeah, they they'll they'll push out. Yeah, so they sealed it wasn't that, but it still makes you crap your pants.

G 23:56

Oh, yeah, you don't want to see door handles moving. No, door handle moving, man.

Shawn 24:00

In altitude. Yeah, no, it was it wasn't good. So and then a flood attendant was telling me that um, you know, remember the days when we used to pay for liquor?

Theft Onboard And Sneaky Charges

G 24:07

Oh, yeah.

Shawn 24:08

That um a guy next to them, they had to call the police on this guy.

G 24:14

Well, he still paid for a liquor. What are you talking about?

Shawn 24:15

When they paid cash for liquor. Oh, cash. I'm sorry about that. Cash.

G 24:18

Yeah.

Shawn 24:19

So the story was when they paid cash for liquor, the guy next to her, they were going to Seattle. And he, when she fell asleep, she she went into his wallet, stole her money, and was buying alcohol from the crew. You know where he's going to Seattle for? What's that? Rehab. It was his last, it was his last last.

G 24:40

So he got arrested before he went to rehab. Somebody was doing that the other day with uh the uh charging a different person's seat. Oh, I was I was sitting there charge my yeah. Good. Yeah, it's kind of smart. Yeah, it is. Yeah, like a little, like, how do you track how do you track that until uh the person found out that they were charging it? Because they, you know, all that stuff comes up on your app. Yeah, even in the phone. And you wouldn't even know it. I mean, if you didn't check, if you didn't check your email. I've had a couple times where pastors come back and be like, hey, something charged to me on this flight, like, and I'm like, what? I didn't even realize that that was even a pot the thing. Yeah, but I guess like when it gets charged on their app during the flight, they can see, oh, I've charged something or something got ringed to you, whatever, because to your account, whatever. But somebody like these Yahoos were charging somebody else's seat.

Shawn 25:31

Dude, one of the craziest, one of the craziest flights that I ever had. This guy um got all these call buttons going off, walk up. There's this guy in the middle seat, and he was pounding on his tray tray table, pounding. I mean, like this. Ugh, uh pounding on this, and these guys next to him are like, dude, we need to move. I'm like, there's no seats, and they're scared shitless because this guy is whacked out. And I'm looking at him trying to talk to him. He won't even say anything to me. He's just grunting. Now he's looking at me like Jack Nicholas Nicholas from The Shining. Yeah, you know, he he's like looking, looking up at me. Now he doesn't exactly crazy. He's got this crazy look. But here's the key he's not doing anything to anybody, right?

G 26:13

He's not doing anything to right. At least he's banging on a seat to the person in front of him, probably didn't like that.

Shawn 26:17

But he's not doing anything, right? So you can't have him arrested. Right. He didn't threaten anybody. Yeah, so this whole time I'm telling these guys, I'm like, I I hate to tell you this, there's not a lot I can do, you know, with this guy. But he was he was not sane. He was crazy. We get these people every once in a while, but that was probably one of the craziest things I've ever had on the planet.

G 26:43

Like it's not, it's funny, but it's not funny. But when you get these like autistic people on board the aircraft that like are like almost like to the border of Tourette's, yeah, where they're like screaming out shit. Yeah, like how many times do we get it? They'll startle you though, man. They startle you, though. Yeah, yeah. I had one that was like it was Tourette's. They were like literally screaming out profanities and stuff on them, and people are like, you know, people was like, Can you stop that? I'm like, you stop it. Like I'm gonna stop it. Yeah, like I mean, once you understand it, I mean you you know you already know it's like you don't re realize what once you're in the environment of that person and you're like, okay, I see what's happening. This person can't help themselves, blah, blah. But in the beginning, it startles the shit out of you.

Sleepwalking On Planes Gets Messy

Shawn 27:31

Oh, yeah, no, that's what I'm saying. You're I mean, especially if they don't tell you, right. If they don't let you know in advance, yeah, and that that there's uh there potentially could be an issue. It you just like, what? You jump and then they tell you, and you realize, and you're like, okay. And everybody else usually around there's pretty understandable, right? Even though sometimes it gets a little bit out of sorts, right? Can gets a little it gets a little bit little bitty crazy. But um last thing I want to talk about before we move on was um this passenger that I had years ago, sleep. Have you ever had a sleepwalking passenger? Sleepwalking? No, never, never okay. So this guy gets up and he stands, he turns to the wall at 1F and starts peeing on the fuselage. Oh, nice. I thought it was drunk.

SPEAKER_03 28:23

Yeah.

Shawn 28:24

Nope. He's sleepwalking. Sleepwalking. Did you ever hear about that? Hear about anybody? You know how you never heard about anybody like sleepwalking there being like pee in a in a closet or anything? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

G 28:35

No, I've heard that type of those type of stories, but I've never had like on the plane. You know, I can't imagine.

Shawn 28:41

But could you imagine waking waking up? Somebody waking you up. And then you're flying with that flight. I don't do pee. And you but you're waking up and you realize you're just pissed all over the wall. Oh, dude. Damn it. You're like, damn it. I couldn't have just waited till I got home.

G 28:57

I have a friend uh that he has these this college friend that his whole time in college, he was uh he was a bedwetter. The entire time. Really? Yeah, he's one of his roommates in college, and he like the guy what's in bed. He got married, he still wets in the bed. It's like this is his this is his MO. Like he for whatever reason he can't control himself when he once he goes to sleep, type of thing. And I'm like, rubber sheets? Who marries that? Yeah, I don't know.

Shawn 29:25

Well, who marries the one well the the lady that uh has her eyes open? The lady that likes to get pee on. Well, no, the lady that has her eyes open like this, because she's not startled. Her eyes are wide open, right? So she's not startled. She's like, okay, so there's pee in the bed.

G 29:40

I can't there's no way.

Shawn 29:41

You got rubber sheets.

G 29:42

That's when you definitely need split mattresses, different beds. I mean, we all have problems and issues and stuff like that, but I was like, I was like, wow. I mean, this dude, I mean, grown adult, he's still pissing in bed.

Refusing To Deplane Turns Federal

Shawn 29:58

Okay, here's a problem. A lady was on a flight recently, okay. She wouldn't go off a flight. Right. Talk about this all the time. Right. She made the plane go back to the gate. Everybody had to get off the aircraft. Okay, you know what the charge was? Trespassing.

G 30:17

Oh, yeah, because she didn't wouldn't leave.

Shawn 30:19

She wouldn't leave. That's now the difference in plane trespassing and normal trespassing. Federal. There you go. Right there, right there. You guys better realize this. When you do this on an airplane, the difference is when when you get charged, it's a federal charge because it becomes interference with the crew members' duty. We talk about this all the time.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

Yep.

Shawn 30:40

So she went from just all she had to do, even if she didn't want to do this, all she had to do is get up and walk off the plane. Even if they charged her, which they probably wouldn't have, but even if they would have charged her with trespassing, the fine would have been about a thousand dollars. She maybe would have done five or six days in jail. Now that federal charge goes from that to them. You could you pay pay fines up to$25,000, right? Then the attorney's fee to fight the federal charges of the trespassing, they say could extend from$25,000 to$100,000 to fight the federal charges that are going to be brought against you because you were arrested. So the charges are going to stick, you're going to do that. And you could go to jail for up to six months.

SPEAKER_03 31:31

Yeah.

G 31:32

Here's my thing with the whole I mean, you're so arrogant and such a freaking asshole bitch, whatever you are, okay, that you're gonna inconvenience the entire plane to make them come back to the gate to deal with you. Yep. Yeah. That's when those people need to be federally charged and they need to be freaking prosecuted and like don't get off the hook.

Shawn 32:00

This is that 0.1% of people that we talk about all the time. It's not even one percent. No, no, point one percent. I said 0.1%. Because 99.9% of the time, yeah, you get on planes, none of this shit happens. Yeah, you'll see these videos and you'll see this stuff, and it blows it up. But she's like 0.1%. But that 0.1%, you really don't think of the aftermath. No, she didn't uh trust me when I'm telling you, she didn't think of the aftermath, but she is now because the charges are real, the the fines are real, and then you fighting the fines and the cost of that is real. Oh, yeah. And and you're gonna have to pay the price all for not getting off of a phone. That's stupid.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Right.

Volcano Videos And Risky Adventures

Shawn 32:42

Doesn't make any sense at all. I mean, it's just dumb dumbest thing. Stupid. Right? Yep. Okay, so other thing, I had to talk about this one. Did you see those tourists that were climbing the volcano in Guatemala? Did you see that? That video?

G 32:58

Um yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that that video. Thought of you. That's crazy. Why'd you think of me?

Shawn 33:04

The shit that we used to do. The shit we no, I really because because see, this is something over the years, like this this individual over here has always tried to get me do stupid shit. One day we're gonna go back and we're gonna revisit our San Pedro Sulich Goose Agappa because you guys only heard that, you actually didn't ever see it on video.

G 33:24

Not on video.

Shawn 33:25

Okay, but he would always make me go do some crazy ass shit, and he was like, gee, we're gonna go here. Gee, we're gonna do that.

G 33:30

I'm all about adventure and experiences. Let's do it. Let's okay.

Shawn 33:33

He wanted me to jump out of a perfectly good airplane in a parachute. I'm like, no. Why not? It's awesome. Because you just see the video of the guy that bounces. I'm not doing it. 0.001%. Not doing it. No reason to jump out of perfectly good airplane. But anyway, my point is that this is what he always, you shit you'd always get me to do. So when I seen this, I'm like, this is a shit you would have made me do. If we would have, no, if we'd have been on a layover somewhere, you'd have been this Guatemala, you'd have said, gee, I got something we're doing, man. We're doing, right? Yeah. We are gonna go hike up this volcano, and we're gonna go take a picture of the volcano.

G 34:15

Yeah. Right? Yeah. And you know what? Like, have you ever seen lava in per in person? Not you admit, yeah.

Shawn 34:22

No, but I'm this I'm making my point.

G 34:24

Right.

Shawn 34:25

So I could see us trekking up this thing, me going, this bullshit, Sean. You see steam coming out and shit like that, and I'm like, this bullshit shouldn't be doing this. No, shouldn't be doing this. And I'm going, this whole time I'm watching this video, these people climbing up thinking you. And I'm like, this is something that you would have made me do, right? And then all of a sudden, what happens? This volcano, what happened to it? It erupted. So you see these people, and now I could see me and him running down this damn hill like this. You can't run faster. You dumbass.

G 34:57

Did you see on the video too? Like, did you see all the like fault? Like, it's one thing when it erupts, but it's that people don't realize that when a volcano erupts, it's spewing out not only gases and steam and heat and all that stuff, it's spewing out rocks, boulders, lava, yes, like all that stuff is coming out and it's gonna come down somewhere. Yeah, and on the video, you can actually see the rock and all the shit coming down. Like it is like that's some scary shit right there. That's why I thought of you.

Shawn 35:26

Yeah, because you you would have you would have had me up there walking up through that damn volcano.

G 35:32

I don't know. That was a little bit too active of a volcano. It was already steaming when they were walking up. Bullshit.

Shawn 35:37

You would have had me up there and we'd have been running down that damn thing. I'd have been cursing at you all the way down that.

G 35:42

After taking, like in uh college, I took this uh class, which is one of the coolest classes I ever took, even though the instructor was a little anal about stuff. But, anyways, uh it was on natural disasters. It taught you all about like avocado.

Shawn 35:57

Avocados. Have you ever heard about how dangerous an avocado is, especially when you go in there and you pop the sea gap?

unknown 36:06

What the fuck?

G 36:08

Volcanoes, how dangerous an avocado is from a volcanoes, talking about floods, talking about all these natural disasters, mudslides, all these different things that that we see, you know, earthquakes, all this stuff. But it really got into the whole geology of it and all this stuff and how it works. And like there's so many uh volcanoes in this world. People don't realize like there's volcanoes everywhere. Here in Ohio, there's we're on a big volcano, volcanic le uh plate. Yeah, it's unbelievable. Yeah. So, anyhow, there is a Netflix show out there that you gotta see. Like that this video is just a little tiny piece of what this this thing that happened in um what was it, New Zealand, and happened in 1989 or something like that. And this volcano erupted with these tourists going up on it. It was like they'd give tours to the things, but but it was kind of an active steam and whatever. But it dude, this thing, it's called um volcano. It says uh the Volc The Volcano Rescue from uh Wy Waika. Waika Ari or something like that. Anyways, the volcano. You gotta check it out. The documentary, it's crazy. Like this married couple got married and went there on vacation and they got burnt and survived. But I mean, it is wild.

Quote Of The Week And Lava Hike

Shawn 37:24

And I did see, I I seen part of that, and he's right. It is it is amazing. But see, the point being, go back to the case. You've already made your point. This is this is the reason why a dead horse. Him. All right, guys. Uh, let's go to the inspirational quote. The inspirational quote. When you feel like you've reached the end of your rope, I guess you're there. No. Tie a knot and hang on. Yeah. Because shit's gonna get a little better. Yeah, trust that it's gonna get better, right? Unless you're running down from a volcano.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Don't tie a knot, get out of there. That's you run like hell. Either that or just don't go. Dude. Right?

G 38:07

Go to a beach. Here's my personal volcano story because you're like talking about this. So my wife and I go and we visit Hawaii and we decide I like I want to see lava up close. Like, I want to actually see it. See what I'm saying? So I wanted to take some picture of it and all this stuff. So on the in the law uh volcano national park on the big island of Hawaii, there's actual flows and stuff that you can go see. So I was like, oh, that's cool. And you can hike up to it. And it's like, you know, this thing is that it it does erupt in a, but it's like one of those, uh, it's not like what you're seeing on that video of these guys running down the hill. So it like erupts and spews out lava, you know, type of thing. Um, anyways, we decide they're like, yeah, you can go see this, but you gotta you park your car here and then you gotta hike into where this lava is. And so I'm like, sure. We go in there, dude. We took a little tiny little 16.9 ounce bottle of water. It was like a 2.5 mile hike into where this lava was flowing. It's oozing on the ground. You can actually see it, like it would bust out and it would like ooze, like, and I'm talking like oozing, like that's how slow. Like, you're not it's not gonna jump out and grab you. But um, there's these plates and stuff, places where like if you step in the wrong place, it could have just flowed, and you're just gonna boom, you're done, burn, toast. But I did that, and we got all the way out there and realized that we didn't have enough water.

Shawn 39:31

Yeah, I'm looking at everybody, and I'm saying thinking that how much he extended the show just to prove my point of why I thought about him about this stupid ass volcano, and it would have been us running down the hill. So, anyway, so it was me and my hiking back. You guys have a great week. Sean extended the show just to prove a point.

G 39:52

That's right.

Shawn 39:52

That it would have been us running for the volcano. You could come too. Come on, be him a player.

Closing Thoughts And Listener Challenge

G 39:58

Nope. You guys have a great week. Have a great week. We'll see you next week. See you guys. Bye. All right, friends. That's a dose of aviation chaos for today. If you laughed, gasped, or got mildly triggered by airport behavior, hit subscribe and go ahead and watch another episode because we are fully committed to turning your free time into airline stories and bad passenger decisions. Leave us a comment with your funniest travel experiences and share this with that one friend who's always late to the airport but somehow blames the TSA. Thanks for hanging out with us, and we'll catch you on the next episode of Captain Pressure with Sean and G.